These last two months have been difficult transition into staying at home full time. I've been struggling with finding God's will for my life. What does He want me to do with my days? In the past, I would visit people when I had days off. So, I have continued this pattern almost five days a week which means that my household responsibilities are always last and usually don't get done. Well, this weekend was a breakthrough.
First, on Friday, I visited a friend who has just had a baby and also works. Her house was in impeccable order. I started to compare myself with her and found myself lacking. I know that the Bible tells us not to compare ourselves with others; however, that is easier said than done.
Second, Saturday night's sermon was on the rich man who built barns for his grain only to find that his life was required of him that night. The man had put his hopes in things of this earth instead of in eternal things.
Friday and Saturday night, I started to think about what I am doing with my life. I don't feel like I have a purpose and my mind started to make a list of all the things that would make me feel fulfilled...new carpet, clean house, organized house, yummy meals every night, decorated house, etc. After this list of things had gone though my mind several times, I realized that they were not thoughts from God but from Satan. Even if I did/got all the things on my list, I would still feel empty.
A still small voiced whispered, "Your fulfillment comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Your hope is in Jesus. In Him you will find fulfillment and purpose." I realized that praying, reading God's Word, and thinking about Him is the only way that I will feel fulfilled in this new life I am leading. When I am listening to God, He will show me what I am to do with my days.
I have also made a list of all of my goals for each day of the week. I want to be able to look back in a month and know that I have accomplished something and that my relationship with Jesus is better than the month before.
What I learned: My fulfillment comes from my relationship with Jesus. Seek first His kingdom and all these things will be added unto you.
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3 comments:
Wow Jessica, Amen. :) I just read something on another blog that goes right along with what you are saying: http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2008/11/the-successful.html
ur right....house work will always be there, but building relationships with God's people seems to be more improtant! i have struggled with this for 2 years now....house work or out with other people. i choose to spend time/help others because i may be that one light...How would jesus feel if i said, sorry my house was messy i couldnt love ur people! So i have a messsy house, but i have people that i have been called to Love and do! Listen to Jesus...he will guide you!
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